an alibi

my march onto a fructuous future has been delayed since prehistoric times by my inability to set my priorties. when we dont wanna do things we ll find a thousand reasons not to do it, but where will u find tht strong self discipline to control ur wavering mind against the strong undercurrents of modern society's intruiging life style activities which my mind is never satiated from. these very lucrative n rather conspicuous desires tht disrupt one's focus r far too powerful and r owerpowering the human psyche. there seems to be no beowulf around for these grendels. our self conscience is waging a lost battle against the fancy world imploding with a slew of gizmos, mouth watering pizzas, raunchy videos,hiphop beats and the list can go on. all these things have the grandest arsenal of all at their disposal and tht is their appeal, their persuasive power to which the youth falls easily.
what makes me wonder whether i am trodding the right path are images from my past which at times come rushing back to me.
i was in 6th standard. i had jst persuaded my mom tht it was high time tht she allowed me to paddle my way to school. on one of the many sweltering afternoons as i was returning back from school along with one of my friends, we decided to take a break and have a coke. so we took a detour and stopped at a shop and while we were having our drinks a lady also came to the shop. she was a middle aged lady carrying a very heavy bag walking around in 45 degrees while we were enjoying our cold drinks. as she was walking by us, she looked at us and at the condensed drops of water on the bottles which seemed to be ironically identical to the sweat on her forehead, she paused. after much thought she turned toward the shop. i looked at her constantly. she looked quite weary. asked me wt was the price of the drink i was holding. 10 i answered .i can still tell how pensive she looked. then she enquired the shopkeeper abt the 5 rs bottles and he said the smaller ones for 6 to which she sharply replied tht amir khan says they r for 5 on television. the shopkeeper told her tht they r still to change the price. she looked at us. i was feeling rather guilty. no doubt she had spoiled my well deserved break. i still couldnt make out wt was is in her bag. after spending some tense moments she asked the shopkeeper whehter he would like a bottle of phenyl. he responded negatively. in one powerful thrust she lifted the bag. each one of us was in a different mood.the shopkeeper cursing her for the alleged dramatics. she left the shop cursing amir khan. i was left high n dry wondering whether to complete my drink or to be soaked in a feeling of guilt and call back the woman and offer to buy her a drink. i decided to call poverty a matter of fates.
till date i m still wondering what should i have done? is it always a matter of fates or is there something for us which might help us win the battle . i think tht fate and destiny are an alibi
a fancy way of denying and distracting us from wts happening now.

frm my scratchpad

u gotta do wt ya gotta do-

i write bcoz i wanna . u rnt actualy entitled to read this stuff but if u really want to be my guest . but i must warn u tht i m jst a novice , not tht good as a blogger. nor do i have the gift of gab. but still i try to xpress my feelings. nd ofcourse i really want to blog more n more these days . i hav also started to read more.
so i ll jst write wt ever comes to my mind . the next sentence might not even relate to the previous 1. but its not for u . its for me.
i read blink, the google story and m currently devouring made in japan and the life of pie.
i found blink really boring,its abt how snap judgements r the better 1's and left it half way but still u might jst see it on my orkut profile like many other "classics" like the monk who sold his ferrari and the alchemist which were such a pain in the ass. but wt do u know. orkut like many other things is an ego-machine and things like these r the pumping gasoline.
never trust governments. thts 1 lesson learnt.
joseph mengele-the angel of death for the jews in the concentration camps held by nazis
4.5 lakh died in darfur, sudan over the las t 4 yrs
though the govt says it was only 9000 wt a shame.
only 26 phd's came frm the computer science section from the whole of india. where u can find a myriad colleges. colleges springing out of almost every nook n corner of this nation with filthy politics. when i say filthy i mean filthy coz this is a nation which is now ruled by mob. the politics of this naiton is now under the 6th phase according to aristotle . ill surely xplain the cycle to u . i ll hav to google mysef first coz things tend to slip out of my memory unless ofcourse they relate to pecuniary issues. this is a nation where the patriotism is felt only when the coffers of media barons have to b filled by voting for taj which by my way does not even qualify for the 21 list set for voting. firstly it isnt a marverllous structure as we all think it to b.
secondly, the emperor didnt build it on his own wish. not so much for love. his dying wife actually told him to do so. then ofcourse he lavishly spent away millions to idle away his time bored from the mujras and his other 9 wives . yeah i think his other wives must also have died by then. then comes the issue of slavery . he made the great monument of "love" by making slaves and finally chopping of so many hands as another sign of the mughal generousity.